Wednesday 28 September 2016

Assignment #2 (Trains for NSEW Lines Safe For Service - Summary + Thesis + Reader Response) - Second Draft

In the following news release, “Trains on the North-South and East West Lines Safe for Service”, Land Transport Authority (LTA) (2016) addressed the problems that it faced in regards to the North-South and East-West lines trains. It has also stated the actions taken to resolve the problems and how trains were subjected to tests to assure the public on their safeness and reliability. The webpage also mentioned the problems that were found on trains. These include “battery housing” flew open due to pressure, however it was rectified immediately by the manufacturer. Other than that, cracks on 5 of the trains’ draughtscreens due to installation errors and hairline cracks on “car-body shell” were also found. Nonetheless, operation of train services were not affected as these trains were tested to be safe for use. As it was impossible to repair the hairline cracks, affected trains that were under warranty were returned back for replacement of components. With a view to complete the rectification programme, LTA expressed that they would sent back trains in pair at a time for servicing. Nevertheless, this is dependent on the arrival of new trains along with the current ones which were still undergoing re-signalling so as to ensure there are sufficient trains for running. In order to ensure the safety and efficiency of the services, LTA has concluded that they will work closely with the contractors and SMRT. Based on the points elaborated, although LTA takes into consideration to ensure the safety and efficiency of the trains, they could have done better in handling this situation so as not to cause doubts and trust issues between commuters.

First of all, it may cause the public to have doubts and trust issues as based on LTA’s webpage, the news was released on Jul 2016. However, the train defects was found way back in 2013 but was not reported immediately. According to Kimberly (2016), she stated that: “Mr Khaw reiterated reasons why the issue was not made public earlier, saying that the hairline cracks on the trains did not pose any safety risk to commuters.”, since the hairline cracks did not pose any safety risks to commuters, LTA should have reported this matter to the public earlier. In Singapore, train breakdowns are increasing (Straits Times, 2016). With this being said, commuters are already losing faith in the train transport system. In my opinion, withholding of such information in regards to the problems found on new trains, may increase the passengers’ distrust. If the situation was not major LTA should not have hidden this matter.

Secondly, it was mentioned that the hairline cracks did not pose any safety problems, however I feel that it does not fully justify why it still needs to be replaced. Based on FactWire (2016), a Hong Kong news agency contacted a retired Singaporean subway staff and quoted: “I’ve never encountered a situation like this in all my decades of working in railway construction. Replacing the whole frame [of the train] - you can tell how serious [the problem] is.”, through this statement, LTA should have given a more detailed report stating the reasons the trains were being sent back to China for replacement of body. Otherwise, it will cause the commuters to have doubts as LTA seems to be contradicting themselves. Stating that the hairline cracks did not pose any safety problems yet it needs to be replaced.

Lastly, tighter quality checks for the components should have been done before installation. In my opinion, if these quality checks are done more thoroughly, it could have minimized the problems such as the explosion of the battery (GOV, 2016). As they could have removed the battery with defects before even installing it and situation like this would not had happened. According to The Independent (2016), FactWire interviewed former Hong Kong’s Kowloon-Canton Railway Corporation acting CEO and he agreed that the quality control standard was mediocre thus resulting in cracks and battery problems.

Although LTA did execute various actions to correct the problems, it was incomplete and they should have done more preventive than corrective actions.


(600 Words)


References

FactWire. (2016). China manufacturer for MTR secretly recalls 35 SMRT subway train after cracks found. Retrieved, September 24, 2016 from https://www.factwire.news/en/MTR-securetly-recall.html

LTA says train defects “not safety-critical” but ex-HK CEO says QC of entire manufacturing process under suspicion. The Independent (2016).  Retrieved, September 24, 2016 from http://theindependent.sg/lta-says-train-defects-not-safety-critical-but-ex-hk-ceo-says-qc-of-entire-manufacturing-process-under-suspicion/

Spykerman, K. (2016). Lessons to be learnt from defective SMRT trains incident: Khaw.   Retrieved from http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/lessons-to-be-learnt-from/3048928.html


Tan, C. (2016) Cracks on MRT trains: Khaw addresses key issues raised. The Straits Times. Retrieved, September 25, 2016 from http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/transport/rise-in-major-breakdowns-but-mrt-gets-more-reliable-lta


Trains on the North-South and East West Lines Safe for Service. (2016). Land Transport Authority. Retrieved, September 20, 2016, from https://www.lta.gov.sg/apps/news/page.aspx?c=2&id=0f8b1220-0289-4bef-99c9-b2455f17a66c#_ftn1

Why are MRT trains being shipped back to manufacturer?. Gov. (2016). Retrieved, September 25, 2016 from https://www.gov.sg/factually/content/why-are-mrt-trains-being-shipped-back-to-its-manufacturer




3 comments:

  1. Dear Clara
    Thank you for writing this reader response. The summary provides a good overview of the article and I was able to understand the problems of the trains.

    There is also a clear transition from the summary to the reader response. The thesis statement is also short and clear as you managed to provide supporting points to back it up.


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  2. Thank you, Clara, for this well researched, well developed response. Your summary is comprehensive and appropriate, and the thesis well focused. You also support your main focus / controlling idea fairly well in the body paragraphs. Certainly you have done good secondary research and integrated that sources material into your response. The main issue here is your language use:

    1) In the following news release, “Trains on the North-South and East West Lines Safe for Service”, Land Transport Authority (LTA) (2016) addressed the problems that it faced in regards to the North-South and East-West lines trains. >>> 'following' not needed

    2) It has also stated the actions taken to resolve the problems and how trains were subjected to tests to assure the public on their safeness and reliability.
    >>> stated >>> (wrong word)

    3) The webpage also mentioned the problems that were found on trains. These include .... >>> (verb tense inconsistency)

    4) “battery housing” flew open due to pressure, however it was rectified immediately by the manufacturer.
    >>>
    (run on sentence)

    5) 5 >>> five (spell out for numbers 1-10)

    6) ...in pair at a time for servicing. >>> in pairs

    7) Nevertheless, this is dependent on the arrival of new trains along with the current ones which were still undergoing re-signalling so as to ensure there are sufficient trains for running. >>> (verb tense inconsistency)

    8) In order to ensure the safety and efficiency of the services, LTA has concluded that they will work closely with the contractors and SMRT. >>> (verb tense consideration: why not past?)

    9) Based on the points elaborated, although LTA takes into consideration to ensure the safety and efficiency of the trains, they could have done better in handling this situation so as not to cause doubts and trust issues between commuters. >>> (phrasing)

    Based on the points elaborated, although LTA takes makes every effort to ensure the safety and efficiency of the trains, they could have done better in handling this situation so as not to cause doubts and trust issues among commuters.

    10) What is the controlling idea of your thesis?

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  3. Comments, part 2

    11) First of all, it may cause the public to have doubts and trust issues as based on LTA’s webpage, the news was released on Jul 2016. >>> "it"?

    12) However, the train defects was found way back in 2013 but was not reported immediately. >>>
    (subject verb disagreement)

    13) According to Kimberly (2016), she stated that .... (incorrect citation convention/ first name?)

    Spykerman (2016) stated that....
    According to Spykeran (2016), Mr Khaw....

    14) ... “Mr Khaw reiterated reasons why the issue was not made public earlier, saying that the hairline cracks on the trains did not pose any safety risk to commuters.”, since the hairline cracks did not pose any safety risks to commuters, LTA should have reported this matter to the public earlier. >>>
    (comma splice / run on sentence)

    15) In Singapore, train breakdowns are increasing (Straits Times, 2016). With this being said, commuters are already losing faith in the train transport system. >>> (verb tense)

    16) ... the hairline cracks did not pose any safety problems, however I feel that it does not fully justify why it still needs to be replaced. >>> (comma splice)

    16.1) it still needs >>> (verb tense)

    17) Based on FactWire (2016), a Hong Kong news agency contacted a retired Singaporean subway staff ... >>> (incorrect citation style)

    18) and quoted: >>> (wrong word)

    19) “I’ve never encountered a situation like this in all my decades of working in railway construction. Replacing the whole frame [of the train] - you can tell how serious [the problem] is.”, through this statement, LTA should have given a more detailed report stating the reasons the trains were being sent back to China for replacement of body. >>> (comma splice)

    20) Otherwise, it will cause the commuters to have doubts as LTA seems to be contradicting themselves. >>> (tense)

    21) Stating that the hairline cracks did not pose any safety problems yet it needs to be replaced. (fragment)

    22) Lastly, tighter quality checks for the components should have been done before installation. >>> This is a clear topic sentence, well connected to the thesis.

    23) In my opinion, if these quality checks are done more thoroughly, it could have minimized the problems such as the explosion of the battery (GOV, 2016). >>> (verb tense)

    24) As they could have removed the battery with defects before even installing it and situation like this would not had happened. >>> (fragment)

    25) According to The Independent (2016), FactWire interviewed .... >>> (check citation)

    26) Although LTA did execute various actions to correct the problems, it was incomplete and they should have done more preventive than corrective actions. >>> Good concluding statement ... This needs to be -- and is -- in line with the thesis.

    27) Check that your end-text references are in line with the APA guidelines.

    Let's work on this. I appreciate the great effort!

    ReplyDelete